Kish Story
by Tomoyo Kinomoto
Summary: What do you get when you mix together Kish, Pai, Tart, Drifting One, an evil faery, a fan-girl, the Enegizer bunny, and the Pit of Doom? Well, when I find out I'll let you know, or you could just read this and find out for yourself! ON HIATUS ('cause I can't really claim that it's done...)
1. Wooden Secrets

Kish looked up from his work, pausing in mid-whistle. A dark figure loomed above him. "You are wasting your talents," it said, its voice sounded male. Kish had almost no reaction except to subtly hide his work.

"Oh really?" He asked, only mildly interested. "Then what do you suggest I do?"

"Come with me." And they both teleported away.

"Get back here!"

"No! Tbpp! Go away! Hahaha!" As usual, Tart had stolen something of Pai's and was now running away. "Oof! Wha'd I trip on?" Asked Tart, puzzled. He looked at the ground. On the floor was a pile of wooden figures. Tart picked one up. It was hard to tell what it was, but it looked kind of like a creature of some sort. "Ow!" Pai had caught up. He had just walloped Tart on the head.

"Give it back now!" demanded Pai

"Whazzup?" asked Tart, nonplused. Pai sighed and plucked something from Tart's grasp and teleported away. A moment later he was back from putting it away. He was bright red. Tart wasn't quite sure if it was from embarrassment or from anger. "What? Didn't want me to know something? Hmm?" Tart teased. Pai ignored him, squatting down to see the wooden figures on the floor.

"These are humans."

"What? Oh yeah, if you have a really good imagination," said Tart scornfully. Quickly, Pai counted them.

"There are five. Do you think that Kish was going to use the figures to map out strategies?" Pai asked.

"For an invasion?" asked Tart eagerly, "Either that, or he was trying to do voodoo. I'll go ask him," and with that, he teleported away. Soon, he poked his head around the corner. "Pa-ai!"

"What?" snapped Pai.

"Do you know what?" asked Tart.

"No, what?" asked Pai exasperatedly. Grinning wickedly, Tart held up a pair of Kish's boxers. "Put that back! You can't just go through Kish's private stuff!" exclaimed Pai, snatching it from Tart. Tart suddenly froze, no longer trying to get it back.

"Hey. Where IS Kish?"


	2. The Pit of Doom

**I don't own TMM, so ha!** A big thank you to all reviewers, and readers (but I like reviews even more then I like knowing that people are reading my story), and a special thank you to Rae-elfin-worrior, you'll see why. Also thank you to Marshalle and all who made the imovie with her, I got my idea from that. Thank you SO much!

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Kish flopped down on his bed. It was really just two suspended boards with some sheets on it. He sighed. His days were the longest that he had ever experienced. The Master had him up from dawn until the first star came out. The whole time Kish was expected to do some sort of labor, all the work got piled on him. Just like the time when they were missing a chimney sweeper, so they used him instead.Sure, the Master was teaching him, it just wasn't the same, especially when Tart and Pai weren't there with him.

"Ouch!" Kish had lain on something hard that was digging itself into his ribs. He took a mini wooden figure out of his pocket. It was his model of Ichigo, the last time he had worked on this, was about three weeks ago. A sudden thought made Kish chuckle. How would Pai and Tart react when they saw the reject figures of Ichigo? He would give almost anything to have been able to see their faces at that moment. Ah, the simple pleasures in life! Except he had missed out. Dejected, Kish sighed again, twiddling his creation.

"Mebeep!"

"Gah! What was that?" Kish desperately looked around to see what had made that sort of squeaky noise. He shrugged. Probably it was just his imagination. He took out his knife to start recreating Ichigo.

Presently, Kish began to realize that he had been sculpting for some time without any thought. Horrified, he looked to see what he had formed. It hadn't been ruined, it just looked different. It still looked like Ichigo, but it seemed as if she was some sort of fairy or pixie.

"Mebop!"

"You? Nah! I'm imagining things. Wood can't talk."

"But it can."

"Master! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that you were here."

"Obviously. That was my intention."

"So sorry Master, I was being ignorant."

"Yes, you were." Kish ground his teeth together. Maybe he didn't need Tart and Pai, the Master was like them both. Still, this was the first time that they had talked to each other, without him yelling at him that is. "I hope that you won't become fluffy-headed because of your pet, I don't want it running everywhere."

"Yes Master," said Kish, confused. With that, the Master swept out of the room. Kish looked around, and saw that his "pet" was the wood creature, except, it wasn't wood any more. A fairy was flying around his room, and it looked exactly like his wooden one.

"Beboop!"

"So _you're_ the one who's been making all those weird noises!" The fairy grined impishly. "Whatever, you can't do anything useful anyway."

"MOYA!" The fairy disappeared. A few seconds later she returned, with Tart and Pai.

"Whoa! This sparkly thing just came up to us and went all shiny and then, and then…WOW! That thing brought us here!"

"Tart, calm down. I'm sure that Kish will explain everything."

"Won't you Kish?" said a female voice, "Oops! Dang-nab-it! Be right back!"

"Wow, so, are you cheating on Ichigo already?" Tart asked.

"NO! I have no idea who that was!" Kish replied defiantly.

"KISH! WHY ARE THERE MORE OF YOU IN THIS ROOM?" demanded the Master.

"Oh boy," said Tart, "Kish is in for it."

"Umm…Tart, Pai, this is the Master. Master, these are my humble friends. The Master took me here to become stronger."

"So these are your not-so-humble friends. You have_got_ to havebetter friends then these drips."

"How will you make Kish stronger?" asked Pai, ignoring the dis.

"You know what, that's a good question. How do you plan on making me stronger?"

"And why not us?" interjected Tart.

"I only needed one of you to make you all strong. You see, I am…" and with that, he threw off his cloak.

"Aaaaaaaaaah!" screamed Kish.

"Interesting," said Pai.

"He's a _girl_!" Tart, once again, had stated the obvious.

"My name is Rae-elfin-worrior, the supreme ruler of all!" the Master's voice was now the one that the aliens had heard in the hall. "And that fairy is my partner-in-crime. I can make you stronger, becauseI am the ultimate fighting force…that you will never have!" And with that, she turned and ran down the hall, laughing her head off.

"After hi-er!" Kish shouted, changing in mid-word.

"CARGE!" all three aliens yelled. ("Chariots of Fire" playing in the back round. All in slow motion) They split up and run into different rooms, looking for Rae. And in and out from different doors all four of them run, chasing each other. It ends up with Rae chasing Tart, who is shoving Kish out of the way, who is trying to jump over Pai, who is running for his life, with all three aliens looking over their shoulders at Rae in fear. (suddenly not in slow-mo, and the music stops. By some unknown force, Rae appears in front with the aliens chasing her) "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" everyone yells, still running down the hall. Then the burst outside. Rae holds onto the door, clinging on for dear life, and for a good reason. Tart, Kish, and Pai, not knowing, run outside, and fall into a never-ending pit.

"Mwahahaha! You die," said Rae, happy with her work, "My work here is done. How long will it take them to find a way out?"

"Moop!"

"So true! Let's go and get some popcorn while we're waiting," She pulls herself inside, knowing that the aliens will soon realize that the pit wasn't never-ending, it had piranhas at the bottom, piranhas who were fed up with their diet.

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A/n I won't update untill I get some more reviews. Come on people, it isn't that hard, is it? Well, please review anyway and if you want something to happen, just let me know and I'll try to work it in. Sorry Rae if I didn't make you evil enough, I had some trouble with that. 


	3. Attack of the Fish and the Food

**I don't own TMM, so…I dunno. And I don't own _Sleeping Beauty_ either!** Thank you for reviewing this story! I hope that this chapter is as good as the other ones! Sorry for not updating in a really long time, I've been swamped with work.

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Rae looked down at the aliens and pushed her sunglasses up onto her forehead. She and her partner-in-crime, the fairy Peachie, had on sunglasses, were eating popcorn, and were sitting in sunbathing chairs. "Interesting show, right Peachie?" asked Rae.

"Merop!" responded Peachie happily. All of the sudden, a loud scream came from the pit.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"They reached the bottom!" exclaimed Rae, excited, "I hope the piranhas are fed up with their diet of lettuce!"

"Beroop!" laughed Peachie. (**A/n** translation is: 'You are SO evil!')

"Yes I am! Now hush, this is the good part!"

A long, long way down, inside the pit, Tart, Kish, and Pai were "meeting" the occupants of the pit. Namely, the piranhas. Frantic, Kish managed to hold on to a rock, Tart hanging on to Kish's legs. Unfortunately, Pai fell straight into the water. He was immediately attacked by the piranhas. "HELPPPP! glub! glub! MEEEEEEE splutter" yelled Pai, as he was continually pulled under the water.

"I'll save you!" yelled Retasu appearing out of nowhere in her Mew Mew outfit. Then, quite suddenly, she smacked herself on the forehead and said, "Who do I think I'm kidding? Me? Rescue someone? I can't do it!"

"Want to have some popcorn with us?" asked Rae.

"Sure," replied Retasu, while the aliens screamed,

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Retasu, Rae, and Peachie all laughed at the aliens. Peachie threw some popcorn into the pit.

"Good idea, Peachie!" said Retasu, picking up her own bag of popcorn, and starting to throw some in. Rae shook her head.

"You guys aren't doing it right," she said, "_This_ is how you do it!" And she poured a ton (2,000 pounds) of popcorn into the pit. "That ought to do the trick!" Rae exclaimed happily. The aliens were as excited about the popcorn as Rae was, only, not in the same way. Some of the popcorn fell onto Kish's head.

"What the - " he said.

"Kish!" screamed Tart, "Look out!!" Kish looked up in time to see the ton of popcorn fall on him and Tart.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" they both screamed. Pai was suddenly right next to them.

"Pai! How did you get here? I thought that you were being eaten," asked Tart.

"Well you see, the popcorn filled up the water and Pai was easily able to climb out, while the piranhas munched on the popcorn." Pai and Tart stared at Kish bug-eyed as popcorn continued to rain from the sky.

"When did you get so smart?" asked Pai and Tart at the same time. Kish shrugged.

"I have no idea. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The popcorn rain isn't stopping!" All three aliens looked up. It was true. The popcorn was still falling, thick and fast. The three girls up top had gone a little over board with throwing in the popcorn; they got a humungous popcorn-making machine and placed it so that when the popcorn fell out, it fell into the hole.

"Mebop, mani!" screamed Peachie.

"And incase you couldn't understand her," Rae yelled down into the hole, "she said, 'It's not popcorn rain, you dumbnuts! It's popcorn _snow_!!' Okay?"

"No!" screamed up Pai, "We are **not** okay!"

"Hey," said Kish, "it really **is** snow!" All the aliens look up. One of the songs from _Sleeping Beauty_ started playing. (I think it's called "Once upon a dream"…) They start spinning in circles with their arms outstretched, making snow/popcornmen, and making snow/popcorn angels while Rae and Retasu were laughing their heads off and taking pictures to remember this day, and for blackmail later. Slowly but surely, the popcorn started to bury the aliens.

"Umm…guys?" asked Tart, tentativly, "Is it just me, or are we sinking?" All of the aliens stopped playing and stood still as the music stopped. The popcorn was at Tart's shoulders and rapidly rising.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You scream to much!" Rae yelled down into the hole. Kish looked like he got a brilliant idea.

"I know! Why don't we just _fly_ out of here?????"

"Because you can't, dimwit!" Rae said calmly, reading a note from one of her friends.

"Then we can teleport!" shouted Tart, but it came out as more of a squeak.

"You can't teleport either," said Rae in that maddeningly calm voice.

"Everybody, swim to the top of the pit!" screamed Pai. All of the aliens turned around and saw the piranhas begin to emerge.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaa!" screamed Kish and Tart. The three aliens swam towards the surface for their lives…literally. As the aliens started swimming towards the surface, the girls up above started laughing at them again.

* * *

(20 minutes later)

As Pai was swimming, he reached his hand above his hand and felt…soil? He had reached the top of the pit!!! Wearily, he pulled himself up, slumping down on the ground and panting. Tart and Kish soon joined him, also panting.

"We-" gasped Tart, "made it!"

"Yeah right!" said Peachie. Everyone except Rae turned to look at Peachie in wide-eyed disbelief.

"YOU CAN TALK?" they all asked.

"Yes. I can speak over 337 languages, including gibberish." Rae was lounging in her beach chair sipping a smoothie and reading a magazine. Everyone (minus Peachie) turned to look at Rae, even the piranhas; who had just arrived without anyone's notice. Everyone looked like a fish with their mouths wide open.

"HOWCOME YOU DIDN'T TELL US???" screamed all the people mentioned above, including one tiny piranha. Everyone (and this time I mean everyone) turned to stare at the little piranha.

"Oops!" it said quietly, blushing. Rae and Retasu started cracking up while Peachie took a picture of the piranha's face. It was priceless.

"I knew it!" shouted the much larger piranha right next to the little guy, cuffing him over the head with his fin, "Just when we were about to perform our sneak attack, you have to go and ruin it. I told Mother that it would be a bad idea to bring you along, but _nooooo!_ Mother thought that her itty, bitty baby Tommy might learn something. You idiot!" All of the aliens were gaping at the piranhas, looking more like fish then the piranhas did. Rae and Retasu were rolling on the ground laughing.

"Hey, did you get a picture of them?" asked Rae.

"Yup!" giggled Retasu.

"Thanks, Retasu!" All of the piranhas gasped.

"What?" asked Retasu. Rae had an evil grin on her face.

"Well, before these aliens came, the piranhas were on a diet of lettuce…and it just so happens that your name means lettuce!" That was all the piranhas needed to hear. They all turned tail and swam pack into the pit full of popcorn snow.

"Well, that takes care of them," said Rae. The girls grinned and the boys got very, _very_ scared. "Now it's time to take care of you three!"


	4. Out of the Pit

**I don't own TMM because where is Masaya? He always turns up at the worst moments…** ((cough, cough)) Sorry about that… ehehe! THANK YOU DRIFTING ONE!!!!! Without her, this story would have gone kaput! So everyone go and thank her if you think this story is worth reading, she deserves every bit of praise you can give her! Also thank you to everyone who reviewed ((hands out solid chocolate figurines)) and to my beta who shall remain nameless for security reasons! ((glares at men in black suits)) They made me say it!

Anyway, please review at the end and if you have any ideas for the next chapter, let me know! SORRY THAT IT TOOK SO LONG! I had a funny writer's block; all I could write came out morbid. ((drum roll)) On with the chapter! (more exclamation marks this time…((scared)) Sorry!)

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The three aliens quickly gathered into an emergency huddle. 

"Okay, what's the game plan?" Pai bopped Kish over the head. "OOW! That hurt." He pouted. "If you don't behave, I'll read your di-iary!"

"Shut up! This is no time to be fooling around! Our lives are on the line, men!" Kish and Tart blinked.

"Why'd he sound like a newscaster slash army general person?" asked Tart.

"SLASH ISN'T A WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!" shouted Pai.

"Oh yes it is!" countered Kish.

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"I'll hook you up with Ichigo if you agree with me!" Kish immediately was silent while the girls made gagging noises.

"So…no way of escaping?" Tart asked slowly. Rae silently crept up behind the aliens. None of them noticed her.

"Nope." Kish said cheerfully.

"Does Pai have an idea?"

"BOO!"

"AAAAAAAAAH!" All the boys jumped three feet in the air.

"I guess if you're an alien you can jump higher." Rae shrugged. "Oh well!" She pulled out an electric cattle prod from behind her back. Electricity buzzed around the rod as a yellow bolt, constantly moving.

"N-now wait just a moment! You're not s-supposed to listen in on manly conversations!" spluttered Kish as he and the other two quickly backed away from Rae, fear etched on their faces.

"Oh? I don't think you should be arguing with me seeing as I'm the one with all the power!"

"Not true! Retasu and I have some too, you know!"

"You're right Peachie! Here take this!" Rae threw the electric cattle prod to Peachie. Peachie lunged for it but missed, and Kish, being the hero, dove to catch it. He jerked and dropped the cattle prod as his hair stood up on end. Then he fell unconscious on to a random fan-girl's feet.

"EEEW! Get this horrid thing off me!" she squealed. She kicked Kish until he rolled off her feet. "And don't even _think_ of looking up my skirt!" An extra kick was added for emphasis.

"Reminder: he's unconscious!" Peachie said, rolling her eyes. The two remaining aliens stared at the girls in shock.

"I thought you said she was a fan-girl!" they accused.

Rae shrugged. "She is, but she's not any of _your_ fans!"

The random fan-girl swooned, "My heart shall always belong to my one true love, Masaya!"

"You know what?" Retasu said thoughtfully, leaning one finger on her chin, "She sounds just like Ichigo." The fan-girl stuck out her tongue.

"Eeew! Ichigo is so bogus! I'm nothing like her!"

"Don't you insult my neko-chan!" Kish attacked the fan-girl who, naturally, fought back.

"Wait…" asked Tart, clearly confused, "I thought Kish was knocked out?"

"He was," explained Pai, "but he woke up to defend Ichigo's honor."

"O-oh!" Tart said with dawning comprehension. The fan-girl took out a snow shovel and began beating Kish over the head with it, ignoring Rae's protests that it was _her_ job. "I still think she's an old hag."

"Hey!" yelled Kish.

"Thank you!" said the fan-girl putting down the shovel, "I'm glad _somebody_ agrees with me!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Kish, calm down."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"He's not calming down, Pai."

"No, really Rae? I couldn't have guessed since calm people normally run around in circles while screaming their heads off."

"Really, Peachie?"

"That was called sarcasm."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!"

"He's not Captain Obvious, he's Pai!" All of the girls sighed.

"We know, Tart." Retasu said patiently, "It's an expression."

"EXPULTION! PAI GOT KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Tart started running in a circle around Pai, Rae, Retasu, and Peachie. Kish chased after Tart because if two people are running in circles, then why don't they run together? As Tart kept on trying to outrun Kish, the fan-girl ran with her snow shovel into the fray. The group remaining in the center got dizzy if they tried to concentrate on one person for too long, so they did not.

"Do you know what we're in?" asked Rae in a low, scary voice.

"No-o!" Retasu whispered back fearfully.

"We're in," Rae said dramatically, "the eye of the storm!!!! Mwahahahahahaha!" Pai rolled his eyes and ignored the girls, trying and failing to look anywhere but at the green, gray, and red blur spinning around him. "Hey! That reminds me of a joke I once heard! TART!" bellowed Rae, "WHAT'S GREEN AND RED AND GOES 50 MILES PER HOUR?" Pai clamped his ears to his skull to try and muffle the screaming.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!" came the distorted reply of "I don't know".

Rae grinned. "A FROG IN A BLENDER! WHAT'S GREEN AND RED AND GREY AND GOES 50 MILES PER HOUR?"

"IIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNOOOOO!!!!!!" was supposed to be "I don't want to know!".

"THE SAME FROG HALF AN HOUR LATER!" As Rae laughed, Retasu and Pai looked sick, while there came a splashing noise from the circle. "EEW! DID YOU JUST BARF?!?!?!?!?" The spinning circle came to an immediate stop. An even paler then normal Tart stood swaying on the spot.

"No…" he said weakly, "but - "

"Aha!" interrupted the fan-girl, "Feel the wrath of my slushball of doom!"

"Why can't you just use a normal snowball?" inquired Kish.

"Because then it would be a snowball of doom, and Em already has rights to that."

"Um, hey guys?" Rae tried to politely intervene.

"Who's Em? And where did you get that slush from?" asked Kish.

"None of your beeswax!" the fan-girl retorted.

"Gu-uys!"

"I don't have any beeswax, anyways!"

"Honestly, you're nearly as bad as Tart!" The fan-girl crossed her arms.

"Am not!" Kish winked. "I'm worse."

"Hey!" Rae was still being ignored.

"Don't you cop that sexy attitude with me, boy!" scolded the fan-girl. Suddenly, the fan-girl was squashed by a huge Energizer bunny. "Pmmph!"

"Well then listen to me next time!" Rae remarked, hands on her hips. The Energizer bunny hit its drum in agreement. Rae raised her eyebrow at the bunny. Its ears drooped as he stepped off of the fan-girl. "Better."

"Doesn't… wait. I'm not going to ask!" started Tart.

"Yes, the original Energizer bunny has a marching drum. The marketing people took it away, though." Rae said with a pout. "Anyways, what I _wanted_ to tell you _was_… you are both standing over the pit of doom." Kish and the fan-girl looked at each other.

"Uh – oh!" said Kish quietly while the fan-girl just growled at him, fire in her eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" they both screamed as they fell. Rae laughed while Retasu looked confused.

"I thought that you had the hole filled up," she said, peering over the edge of the hole. Peachie came up behind her and gave her a shove. Retasu screamed and fell onto of the hole, but did not fall through.

"See?" exclaimed Rae, "It's just a painted hole! There is nothing there!"

"So then… where are Kish and the fan-girl?" asked Pai, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Rae and Peachie broke into identical evil grins. "In their worst nightmare! Mwahahahahahaha!!!"

That answer was definitely _not_ what he had expected!

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Me: Dun dun dun daaa! This one had more talking than paragraphs, but I hope it was still funny! 

Review Button: Press me!

Me: YAY! Review Button, you've come back! ((hug)) Well, you heard the button!

Review Button: Press me!

Me: You know you want to…!


	5. The Rooms of Terror

**Aaah! Here he is! Masaya finally shows up! So… **_**do**_** I own Tokyo Mew Mew?**

A shriek was heard from below. "Hmm…" said Rae thoughtfully, peering down at the hole. "It doesn't sound like they're taking it too well." Tart started to panic.

"Take what too well? What are you doing to him? When will I get my Kisshie back??" sobbed Tart, finally breaking under all of the mental stress. Rae and Peachie raised an eyebrow.

"_Kisshie?_" they asked, incredulous. Tart ignored them and continued to cry, muttering something about Kish being a cross between a teddy bear and a punching bag. Pai put his hands on his hips and glared at the girls.

"Do you have any idea what you've just done?" he demanded. "Now it will take _ages_ for him to calm down!" The girls stared as Pai picked up Tart and opened the door to the left of him. Pai then tossed Tart into the empty room, much like one would throw a softball. Tart fell, bounced on the three-foot-thick, blue mattress that was the floor, sprang twenty feet in the air, and fell back down. Pai closed the door before they could see anything else.

"Oo-ee! Where'd that dang door come from?" asked Peachie. "What?" she exclaimed as everyone turned to stare at her. Peachie was now wearing a large cowboy hat and was dressed like a ranch hand. "I felt like a mite of change, that's all! I was getting bored with all that cute fairy stuff, you know?"

Sweatdropping, Rae shook her head. "I don't know that creature! Now! On to the Pit of Doom!"

"There's no dang way that's the Pit of Doom! The aliens just escaped from that tarnation!"

"Well, what else can I call it?" demanded Rae, glaring at Peachie.

"How about the Room of Terror?" put in Retasu.

"I like it!" exclaimed Rae, hugging Retasu.

"Wah!" Retasu cried out as they toppled over… and fell down an escalator that led into the dark hole on the ground, which could or could not be real. They landed with a soft _thwump_ at the bottom. Looking up, they saw Pai and Peachie leaning over the hole to peer down at them.

"Come on down!" called Rae. "We made it in one piece! Mostly," she added under her breath. Retasu looked at her in alarm. She just smiled. "Hey Retasuuuuu!"

"What?"

"I'm _bored!_" whined Rae. "Peachie and Pai are taking to long!"

"That's because we're taking the moving-staircase like normal folks!" shouted Peachie. Rae and Pai both raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want to know what her definition of "normal" is!"

"Oh really, Pai? Because I thought you _loved_ definitions! Just a thought!" she added quickly as Pai glared at her.

"Umm," said Retasu timidly. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but how can we see each other if there is no light?" Everyone froze as there was a terrifying cackle of evil laughter. A flashlight flicked on, throwing Rae's face into relief. Retasu and Pai screamed as Peachie and Rae laughed.

"Ha! Fooled you guys!" Rae slapped Peachie a high-five. Grinning, Peachie turned off the flashlight. Pai and Retasu blinked. There were Rae and Peachie, and again there was no light.

"Umm…" remarked Pai, not at all quite sure what he was going to say.

"Want to see something even creepier?" asked Rae, bouncing up and down in her excitement.

"Not really," muttered Retasu, but Rae ignored her. Grinning evilly, she turned Pai around so that he was standing under a wooden door in the ceiling-type-thing.

"Was this - " he started, then shook his head.

"Nope!" Rae exclaimed happily. "Look!" With a flourish, she threw open the door. Pai blinked. There was Tart above them, still bouncing and screaming for his Kisshie.

"What the - !"

"Pai!" scolded Rae. "Be careful with what you're going to say! Little kids could hear you!" Peachie rolled her eyes. "Now look down." Pai obeyed, looking through another hole, this time in the "floor", which had not been there a minute ago. He froze. Retasu looked down as well, and her jaw dropped. There was Tart, but they were seeing the top of him. He seemed to be flying towards them with each bounce. Pai stared for about another minute, then hurriedly looked at the hole above their heads. There was Tart _again_!

_Click!_ "Priceless!" Rae grinned wickedly, waving her camera in the air. "Hey, Peachie! Would you put this in the drawer labeled "Blackmail", please?" Peachie bowed mockingly.

"It would be my pleasure!" With a wild whoop, she disappeared. Rae and Retasu sweatdropped.

"Ehehe! How are you doing Pai?" called Rae, trying to chance the subject. Pai did not answer, alternating his glance between looking up at the Tart above them, and looking down at the Tart who… was _still_ above them, but was also below them. It gave Retasu a headache just thinking about it.

"It could be that it's an illusion with mirrors…" he muttered, almost hopefully. Reaching out a hand, he nearly fell on top of Tart.

"No mirrors, then?" asked Retasu.

"Nope!" exclaimed Rae, giggling. "Come on! Let's go!"

"But," said Retasu, worried. "Is it okay if we just leave Pai like that?" Pai was muttering technical jargon to himself, opening and closing the two doors methodically. Rae nodded.

"He'll come to his senses soon and realize that what he's seeing is real. I bet you he'll faint!" Retasu still looked worried, but allowed herself to be pulled after Rae through yet another door. There was a light coming from everywhere that hurt Retasu's eyes, so she had to squeeze them shut. She heard the door close behind her with a soft click. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and gaped at what she saw. The only word she could think to describe it was… pink.

"And don't forget bubbly!" shouted Rae.

"Eep!" Retasu jumped, causing Rae to burst out laughing.

"You should have seen your face! It was hysterical!!"

"Umm… do I even want to know how you can read my mind?"

"Yes, because I can't," Rae said bluntly, still grinning. Retasu blinked again. "I've just gotten that same reaction before to all the pink!" And pink it was. It was as if someone had taken a bubble bath with pink bubbles, and let the tub overflow, filling the entire space they were in. Some of the stuff was clustered where walls would be if they were in a normal room, and some of it was even floating by like clouds. The remainder was just spread out everywhere, creating a marsh of pink that reached about knee height. Retasu squinted, were those… hearts? She walked over to one, revolving slowly a few feet away, and touched it. It felt solid. Retasu turned around to ask Rae about it, but cried out in alarm. The wooden door they had walked through was disappearing.

"What?" asked Rae, looking down at Retasu, lying on her stomach on one of the pink clouds and propping her elbows on a heart.

"T-the door! It's being eaten by the pink!"

Rae flipped onto her back with her head and shoulders hanging off of the cloud, remarking mildly, "Hey look, you're right!" Retasu started freaking out.

"What are we going to do? How are we going to get out of here? How – eek!" Gravity had taken a hold of Rae, and she came crashing down onto poor Retasu.

Rae grinned cheekily, pulling Retasu to her feet and saying, "Let's follow that trail we blaze!"

"What trail we blaze?"

Stopping for a moment, Rae looked around, and then pointed in front of them, saying triumphantly, "That trail we blaze!" Sure enough, there was a slight path going through the pink and around the corner that was definitely not there a minute ago. Retasu shrugged; she was getting used to it by now.

The two girls walked forward, careful not to leave the path. As the rounded the corner they heard a scream. Exchanging a brief glance, they charged forward, Retasu carrying her Lettuce Tanets and Rae carrying a battering ram. They heard another scream, coming from a closed door with light spilling out from under its edge at the end of the pathway. In the end, the battering ram proved more effective. Retasu had a head start on Rae, but was going too fast to stop. She ran into the very solid door, and fell to the floor. Rae was also going to fast to stop, but just crashed through the door. Retasu shielded her eyes as light blinded her for a second time.

"What the - ?" she began, never finishing her thought. She stepped inside the room, and the door and pathway that she had just gone through disappeared. Rae bounced up to her, grinning.

"I told you this was their worst nightmare!"

"I guess… you were right," Retasu said slowly, staring in shock at what she was seeing. The pink made up the walls, floor, and ceiling of the room, but was not floating around the same way as it was in the "hallway". All of the pink was still bubbly, except for the floor, which was a darker pink and looked flat like a normal floor. There were also no clouds or hearts floating about. In the center of the room were two wooden chairs, looking so ordinary that they seemed out of place, except for the fact that they were bolted into the floor. Kish was tied to one chair while the fan-girl was tied to the other. Both of them were screaming at the huge flat screen TV on the wall opposite them. The TV was showing a video of Ichigo and Masaya going on a date together.

"_Hey, Ichigo! Do you want to go to the beach with me for lunch?_"

"No! Ichigo! Don't do it! You don't really love him!!"

"_Sure, Masaya! Sounds like fun! I'll be ready in a minute!_"

"Masaya! How could you!! She's not good enough for you!"

"Umm… why don't you guys just close your eyes?" suggested Retasu, wincing as Kish screamed loudly at the TV.

"They can't," answered Rae, "'cause their eyes are taped open. See?"

"But then why were they screaming before if Ichigo and Masaya are just starting to go on their date?"

Rae laughed. "That's not the _only_ date I have filmed on that video! I have a whole year's supply of footage!" Retasu sweatdropped.

"Don't you think that's a little… harsh?"

"Nope! It's actually really amusing. Watch." She sat down, opened the top of her battering ram, and pulled out a bag of popcorn. "You want some?" Retasu sighed in defeat and sat down.

"Sure." They sat together in silence eating their popcorn, content for now to let Kish and the fan-girl provide the commentary.

"_Oo! Thanks for the ice cream, Masaya! You're so thoughtful!_" On the screen, Masaya laughed as Ichigo snuggled into the crook of his arm on their beach-towel. Kish rocked against his chair, trying in vain to free himself.

"_Think nothing of it, my princess._" Masaya kissed the top of Ichigo's head. The fan-girl let out a little cry.

"Why? Why her? She's nothing, Masaya, nothing! Don't give her a pet name! Masaya, no!!"

"She's my koneko-chan, tree-hugger! Get your filthy paws off her!"

"What did you call Masaya?!" demanded the fan-girl, turning to confront Kish. If her feet were not already tied to the chair legs, she would have kicked him. However, she was distracted by what happened next on the screen. Ichigo and Masaya were playing in the ocean, when Ichigo slipped. Masaya caught her in his arms, and Ichigo blushed, smiling up at him.

"_Are you alright?_"

"_I think so._"

"No, Masaya! You should've let her drown!"

"Stupid tree-hugger! Why'd you take her to such a dangerous place!"

Rae laughed, calling, "Kish, slipping on a rock does not make a place dangerous!"

"I don't care! He has no right! None!"

"Don't carry her like a bride! That should be me, Masaya! Drop her! Drop her!!"

"Drop her?! Are you insane? No one can treat my koneko-chan like that!" The two alternated between bickering with each other and yelling at the TV until the end of the date.

"_I had a lot of fun, Masaya. Thanks._"

"_Me too, I'm glad you enjoyed it._" Masaya and Ichigo were standing on Ichigo's front porch. Slowly, Masaya, and the camera shot, leaned in.

"No, no, no, no, nononono_no_!" cried the fan-girl and Kish. Their protest turned to a scream as Ichigo and Masaya kissed. The Energizer bunny appeared in-between them, and covered each of their mouths with a furry paw, muffling the noise.

"Thank you," murmured Rae, massaging her temples, "That was getting annoying!" The Energizer bunny wiggled its ears, happy it had done something to please Rae.

"Where did - What are we going to do now?" asked Retasu, deciding it was better not to ask where things came from in this… place halfway through her question. She looked expectantly at Rae, licking the butter from her fingers.

"Ah - !" started Rae, then stopped. "That's a good question. What _are_ we going to do next?" The room shook as there was a might crash. An evil smile slowly grew on Rae's face. "I forgot! There's _that_! C'mon, Retasu! Let's go!" Jumping to her feet, Rae grabbed Retasu by the wrist, and pulled her across the room to a door that had just materialized. Retasu glanced one last time over her shoulder, seeing another date starting on the TV.

"O-okay," she said tentitively.

"Don't worry! I promise, it would never hurt you. Maybe. Sometimes. Atleast not much!" Rae said, trying to be reassuring. Retasu groaned and hit herself on the forehead.

"That's not helping!"

"Well, what is?"

"I don't – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Energizer bunny had crept behind the two and pushed them into the door, which was not solid, much to Retasu's surprize. The last thing she could see before she was in total darkness was Rae, grinning and mouthing the words, "Trust me, it'll be fun!"

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So ends chapter five of Kish Story. If you have any ideas for what is behind the door, please take a guess! Reviews are lovely things… Anyways, sorry this chapter took so long, but it _was_ longer than usual (lamest excuse in the universe!). I hope you thought it was funny!

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